Support to Raj Thackeray

This is a wonderful mail circulating in favour of RAJ Thackeray have a look.

We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more....

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school
2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi
3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi
4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay . Only Marathi.
5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men
6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals
7. Lord Shiva, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north ( Himalayas )
8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only
9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India , so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra ?
10. Let's support kashmiri Militants because they are right to killing and injuring innocent people for benefits of there state and community... ..
11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra , why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world .
12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi
13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states
14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside
15. We should STOP using local trains. Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari
16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra , then they will become true Marathi's

This mail should somehow reach Raj Thackrey so forward it to as many ppl as possible.

This mail needs to be read by all Indians.S
o please help in this cause.
Keep Forwarding.
JAI MAHARASHTRA !

A Software Engineer's Orkut Profile

About me:
I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")

Relationship Status : what? Shocked

Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.

Age : 10111 1111 111

Here for : web browsingin company hours.

Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!

Humor : weekly.

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.

Smoking : The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Drinking : The first is this.

Pets: Yeah, my manager looks like a dog.

Smile Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)

Webpage: naukri (dot) com , jobsahead (dot) com Isn't it Ultimate???

Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.

Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities: Are you crazy?

Books: "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps",

Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.

Tv shows : can't afford one.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle....

Google SMS

Get cricket scores, Indian Railways train schedules & ticket status, horoscopes, movie showtimes, restaurant information and more ...all through SMS on your phone.

Best of all, you don't pay a premium charge for any of this, just the price of a standard SMS.

Try it out! Simply send your search query by SMS to 9-77-33-00000 and we'll send you results back by SMS immediately.

Of course, don't forget to save 9-77-33-00000 to your phonebook for quick and easy access to Google SMS in the future!

http://www.google.co.in/mobile/default/sms/

PNR status in mobile - No premium charges

Indian Railway in collaboration with Google is now providing a 10 digitMobile number. Just SMS your PNR number on this mobile number andinstantaneously you will get your ticket's current status along with allother journey related details.

The number is 9773300000. NO need to prefix 0 or +91.

Best of all, you don't pay a premium charge for any of this, just the price of a standard National SMS.

For more details: http://www.google.co.in/mobile/default/sms/

DON FORGET TO STORE THE NUMBER IN MOBILE

The Three answers by a girl!!!!!!! (lol)

Three answers most feared by men.

1. (Whatever)

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. (Anything)
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)
Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything (Look around... no one here, gonna kill her....)

RBI Statement on ICICI Bank's Financial Position

There are reports in some sections of the media that based on rumours regarding the financial strength of ICICI Bank, depositors are withdrawing cash at its ATMs and branches in some locations.

It is clarified that the ICICI Bank has sufficient liquidity, including in its current account with the Reserve Bank of India, to meet the requirements of its depositors. The Reserve Bank of India is monitoring the developments and has arranged to provide adequate cash to ICICI Bank to meet the demands of its customers at its branches/ ATMs.


The ICICI Bank and its subsidiary banks abroad are well capitalised.

Alpana Killawala

Chief General Manager

Be careful how you list names on your cell phone! Be Safe!

Dear All,
Be careful how you list names on your cell phone! Be Safe!

This lady has changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobilephone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag which contained hermobile phone, Credit card, purse...etc..... was stolen.

20 minutes later when she called her Hubby, from a pay phone telling himwhat had happened. Hubby says 'I've just received your sms text askingabout our Pin number. I replied a little while ago.'

They rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money wasalready withdrawn. The pickpocket had actually used the stolen handphone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pinnumber. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from the bankaccount.


The lesson:Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in yourcontact list.. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, sweetheart, Sayang......Dad, Mum, wife, son , etc.......


And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked thru texts,CONFIRM by calling back.


Also, when you're being texted by friends or family to meet themsomewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came fromthem. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places tomeet 'family and friends' who text you.

Save Power - Save world - Enable Hibernate Option in your PC

Most of us in the IT field, used to do one thing before leaving for the day from office,
Press Ctrl +Alt+ Del and leave to home happily. That means your PC is still on.. One normal PC in the sleeping mode (Hibernation) will consume 35 watts/hr.

Based on this we will do a small calculation. For one week 24 * 7 = 168 Hrs Of this if we consider that we are working for 68 hours, then the PC is in sleeping mode for 100 Hrs a week. For one month 4 * 100 = 400 Hrs In a normal IT office, if we assume approximately 250 PCs are there, 250 * 400 = 1,00,000 Hrs (Sleeping Mode) So the power wasted in an office in a month is, 100000 * 35 = 3500 KWH or units.

If the charge per unit is Indian Rs. 6, then totally the wastage value is approximately 21000 Indian rupees. Here the sad thing is not the money loss to the company but the power loss to the country. (Hope no company is bothered about this procedure of keeping the system in sleeping mode)

Apart from the loss to the country we need to think of the efforts people are putting for producing the power in the Mines, Thermal Stations, Hydro electric Stations, etc. If this is to continue, the cost of unit power will go up & at one stage we will not get power even if we are ready to pay any cost.

So before leaving to home take some time to shut down the PC and do some favour to the country and the organisation. If you feel that this point is to be considered forward this to all your friends.

***Do it once it will become a Habit... Good Habit... ***

To Enable Hibernate Option in your PC:
1. Goto control Panel
2. Select Power Options
3. Select Hibernate and Check the Check box Enable hibernation

MORE JOB CUTS WORLDWIDE

Intel to cut 1,000 managerial jobs worldwide15 Sept, 2006, 0024 hrs IST, TNN

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/News_By_Company/Companies_A-Z/I_Companies_/Intel/Intel_to_cut_1000_managerial_jobs_worldwide/articleshow/1754472.cms

HP to cut 24,600 jobs following EDS takeover16 Sep, 2008, 0424 hrs IST, REUTERS
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News_by_Industry/HP_to_cut_24600_jobs/articleshow/3487390.cms


Satyam Computers to axe 4,500 employees15 Sep, 2008, 0645 hrs IST,Debasmita Ghosh, TNN
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3483960.cms


TCS, Wipro recast hiring plans 16 Sep, 2008, 0743 hrs IST,Avinash Nair & Kumar Anand, ET Bureau
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/TCS_Wipro_recast_hiring_plans/rssarticleshow/3487861.cms


Wipro Tech puts 3000 staff under scanner8 Sep, 2008, 0615 hrs IST,Deepshikha Monga, ET Bureau
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/Wipro_Tech_puts_3000_staff_under_scanner/articleshow/3456167.cms

Joke*******mast - African desert

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, 'Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we have the camel.'

The Captain says, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay.'

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane s*x with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?'

'No, not really, sir ...They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are.'

The Myth of Refreshing the Desktop

"Do you refresh your desktop?” Ask this to any Windows user and 99% of them will reply with a "yes". Of course, there are various needs for refreshing the desktop but the majority of people who does it don’t even know why he is doing it. Refreshing the desktop is perhaps the biggest computer myth among all Windows users.

Every single person I have met does this or at least used to do it. It's not known who first discovered this remarkably useless trick and what he achieved from it, but it just spread. Most new users learn this trick from other new users without caring to know what it does. Some do it devotedly just because others do it, while some others have various weird explanations for it. A few of them assumes that it refreshes the RAM, while some others believe that doing it will somehow keep their PCs running smooth and easy. I have seen some users obsessed with refreshing the desktop, doing it every 30 seconds or so. They have even learnt the keyboard shortcut - F5 (just to mention, these are the people who never use keyboard shortcuts). They would press the key and wouldn't release it for a long time, sending the desktop into a frenzy of refreshes.

What does a desktop refresh actually do? Refreshing the desktop simply redraws the icons on the desktop. That's it! It doesn't refresh the RAM. It doesn't clean your PC. It doesn't refresh your computer the way it does to you when you wake up from a nap. Refreshing the desktop has absolutely no effect on the working or performance of the computer. So why is the tool there? As I said, refresh is used to re-display or redraw the icons on the desktop. Sometimes when you bring some changes to the desktop icons, the change doesn't get reflected instantly. In such cases, refreshing the desktop becomes necessary to bring the change to effect. Say, you have the desktop icons set to arrange themselves alphabetically on your desktop. When you add a new item to the desktop, this item wouldn't get arranged alphabetically, instead it would appear at the bottom of icon list on the desktop, irrespective of it's name. Now if you refresh the desktop, all the icons would be once more arranged alphabetically and the newly added item would go to it's appropriate position. This is what refresh is for. It is to re-display the desktop. Refresh has the same function when done in explorer. Also Refresh is basically the command used to refresh/reload the video buffer (VGA memory). Sometimes the changes made in the VGA memory are not reflected to the screen properly...Refresh just corrects the prob...

So, if you are in the habit of refreshing the desktop, stop it. You are just wasting your time and effort. And the next time you see a person doing it, don't forget to explain to him the futility of this action.

Does God Really Exist??????

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things." The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:
"You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed.
"Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me." "Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Wonderful definitions of designations

Wonderful definitions of designations:

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.
10) HR is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 month

Corporate realities...Nice stuff

Story of a software engineer

This truely speaks my story.................................

MAIN KAIDI NO. 12xx1982...................

Main employee ID no 16610 .. Cubicle ke dewaron ke us paar dekhta hoon apni hi tarah khaali baithe ek colleague ko dekhta hoon kabhi mail karta kabhi coffee peeta kabhi Extn pe baat karta Messenger pe chat karta rehta woh kehte hain woh TL hai woh kehte hain woh senior hai fir kyon mere jaisa lagta hai kyon din bhar FW: padhta hai

cubicle ki dewaron ke us paar dekhta hoon cabin me baithe apne PM ko dekhta hoon Main kaidi no 12xx82 .. kabhi phone pe kabhi conference-call pe gussa utarta jaane kis pe who kehte hain project aane wala hai

training complete karo , kaam aane wala hai fir kyon mujhe yeh jhootha sa lagta hai fir kyon yeh sapna sa lagta hai

Main kaidi no 12xx82 .. cubicle ke dewaron ke us paar dekhta hoon Doosri companiyon ko join kar chuke purane doston ko dekhta hoon woh kehte hain bond ka kya hai, chale jao woh kehte hain kahin aur kismat aazmao fir kyon bond todne se dil darta hai abhi ek saal aur intezaar karne ko jee karta hai

Main kaidi no 12xx82 .. cubicle ki dewaron ke us paar dekhta hoon............

Ever Thought…
If Software is Religion, then who might be the God…

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…

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Nice portrays

Wine Vs Water

Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have consumed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria, found in feces.

In plain words, we would be drinking 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine, beer, tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor because alcohol goes through a purification process in boiling, filtering, and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Booze = Health.

In conclusion: It's better to drink wine, and talk stupid, than to drink water, and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm just performing a public service... Have a Great Week End!

Logical Thinking

Chinese Proverb

Spend few seconds to read the chinese proverb about "MONEY"

With money you can buy a house, but not a home.
With money you can buy a clock, but not time.
With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep.
With money you can buy a book, but not knowledge.
With money you can buy a doctor, but not good health.
With money you can buy a position, but not respect.
With money you can buy a blood, but not life.
With money you can buy a sex, but not love.

STOP DRINKING!!!

This following poster was around 1919 (just before prohibition started) and...

…...looking at the above bunch

it's no wonder why MEN kept drinking.

Lover offer letter

Dearest Ms Aarti,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
HR Manager

Nice sentences

3 Easy Ways to Die :

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.

Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL......!

Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.

Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

Never marry a C girl because she always has a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never marry a UNIX girl, she always dump u with a core.

Never marry a PASCAL girl; she always scolds u as rascal.

Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY

MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE FAMILY, THEN...........................

SO DONT MARRY ALWAYS BE HAPPY ........

'To make money we lose our health and then to restore our health we lose money.
We live as if we are never going to die and we die as if we never lived'

'To make money we lose our health and then to restore our health we lose money.
We live as if we are never going to die and we die as if we never lived'

For lighter moments

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand Out Of Window…
You Are in SYDNEY …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Horn…
You Are in JAPAN …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Newspaper,
Foot Solidly On Accelerator…
You Are in BOSTON …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Both Hands On Steering Wheel,
Eyes Shut,
Both Feet On Brake,
Quivering In Terror
You Are in NEW YORK …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Both Hands In Air,
Gesturing,
Both Feet On Accelerator,
Head Turned To Talk To Someone In Back Seat…
You Are in ITALY …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
One Hand On Horn,
One Hand On Holding Gear,
One Ear Listening To Loud Music,
One Ear On Cell Phone,
One Foot On Accelerator,
One Foot On Clutch,
Nothing On Break,
Eyes On Females In Next Car,

WELCOME TO INDIA .

LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND! What a Fun!

HOW HAPPY IS LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend is cool

******************
1. You can stare at any Girl.......
*************
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
*************
3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.
*************
4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
*************
5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.
*************
6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
*************
7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.
*************
8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.
*************
9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore. *************
10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
*************
11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.
*************
12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.
*************
13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
*************
14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.
*************
15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.
*************
16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with உ
r folks.************* 17. No nonstop nonsense.
*************
18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
*************
19. No tension.
*************
20. You can be "urself"
*************
21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.....
*************

North Indian vs South Indian girls

********* U have to think twice b4 committing to a North IndianGirl **********

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.

8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "walk out"

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"

13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.

******WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South indian GIRL-FRIEND***********

Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras /Anna University/PSG டெக்

Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."

She shudders if you use four letter words.

She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconutoil from her hair.)

She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.

Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)

When she mixes milk and rice you are never sure whether it is for the Dog or for herself.

For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortablewhile you are melting in your singlet.

She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.

Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.

Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')

She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.

She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.

You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it ..

Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.

She is more educated than you.

Her father thinks she is much smarter than you...

Please do read once - Spare Just 2 Minutes

One of the best articles I have ever read ...Really a heart touching.... article...

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

" See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son. "This guy seems to be a crack.." newly married Anoop whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Amp's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anoop ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and don't disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

Please do read once - Spare Just 2 Minutes

One of the best articles I have ever read ...Really a heart touching.... article...

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

" See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son. "This guy seems to be a crack.." newly married Anoop whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Amp's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anoop ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and don't disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

Please do read once - Spare Just 2 Minutes

One of the best articles I have ever read ...Really a heart touching.... article...

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

" See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son. "This guy seems to be a crack.." newly married Anoop whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Amp's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anoop ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and don't disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

Tomato Story - What Is Better When It Comes To Earning Money

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan... When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied,'I don't have an email.' The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story
Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, but work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you read this message, you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire............

Extra-Marital Affair

In the wake of two shocking incidents that took place in Bangalore and Hyderabad, couples committing suicide because of extra-marital affairs with their colleagues, I just thought of writing a small article on how to avoid such incidents. This is really a serious matter and if not dealt on at an early stage could lead to such incidents in our personal life too.

Some people don't take advice but taking good advice may do you no harm. Thos who are not married this is the best article as before starting a new relationship if you are ready for it, will only help you to lead a happy life.

Read on..

We spend 40/45/50/60 hours a week with our colleagues. This is the most we spend with any members of our family. So it's obvious they are an integral part of our life. Good, understood. But an important point to remember is colleagues are colleagues and not friends and if you think they are friends then you are highly mistaken. Imagine working together for 9 hours a day together and then returning home and continuing to talk with your colleague on phone. This is what happened with that Infosys guy who could not stand this behavior of his wife and killed her and committed suicide. Which husband would like his wife talking on phone with her colleague and that too male counterpart? Or which wife will like her husband doing the same? Just keep yourself in that situation and see. Anger will creep in within you.

So whatever gossip or topic you want to discuss with your colleagues do it during office hours and once you are out of office forget about your work and your colleagues unless it's official matter.

Just check this unnecessary talk…

A guy and her colleague walking out of office at 6.30p.m. At 7.30 or 8.00 the guy calls that female,

Guy: Hi, how are you? Where have you reached? (Don't you know how she is and where she must be at this time)

Lady: I am fine. Reached home.

Guy: What are you cooking today?

Lady: So and so (Now here the lady knows that the guy has called to flirt with her and the call is unnecessary. It's the duty of the female to say something to avoid that guy. If she doesn't at this stage then this call will be going for another 30-45 mins and questions like 'When will you be taking bath? What time you will sleep? What will you bring for me for breakfast for tomorrow will creep in?' and imagine the state of the family members of that lady at this point.

They expect the lady to come and talk with them for sometime but here this lady is enjoying a talk with the guy with whom she has been working since morning. No wonder such people will have a horrendous married life.

A simple thing to think about. Say you are not married. You go to office and come back say at 6.00 in the evening. You have so much of time left. Can't you read some books and increase your knowledge rather than spending one-two hours on mobile. Girls can start experimenting with new dishes. Main thing to understand is such gossiping on calls becomes on habit and bad habits die-hard. You will be addicted to talking and this can be bad as time goes on. One you start working you have to come out of college life. In college you could enjoy, flirt, do anything you wanted. But this is real life. Be responsible or else you will be responsible for your terrible life and the life if your husband/wife.

Any person no matter who he/she is would never like his/her wife/husband having such relationship with her/his colleagues.

Last year 90% of divorce happened because of Extra-Marital Affairs and in that 80% because of relationships with colleagues. And we would not like this to happen with us. So start from now.

Guys see to it that you don't put an habit of calling you female-colleagues after office hours or on weekends or holidays, even if they provoke you or give missed calls. Let them spend time with their family members or other friends. You also do the same. Good girls don't give missed calls. And girls who give I need not say what kind of girls they are. Stay away from them. You can talk as much as you want in office. And gals, if any guy calls you then it's not bad to say'No, Let's talk in office' or 'I am busy, talk with you tomorrow'to that guy. Do it twice and they will automatically stop calling. Guys have this habit of flirting and you allowing them to flirt will only help them do more. Relationships can always be maintained in right manner. Never succumb to emotional pressurelike 'You don't want to talk with me or what' or 'You can call him but you can't call me' or 'You talk for so and so time with her but with me only this much'. Some people fall for this because they don't want to lose a friend. Again I say colleague is not a friend. They are just here to work and keep on moving in their life. They go to other company, go for growth and so on. They will not wait for you in the same office to be with you forever. So don't be emotionally attached with your colleagues. They are competitors and always on their toes to show you down in front of seniors and managers. You may not realize now but this is a fact, be ready for it.

Imagine a girl getting married and someone says to her to be husband, that guy over there is the one who regularly calls your wife or your wife gives missed calls or calls that guy. Always this thing will remain on the back of his mind. Similarly someone tells the bride that your groom always keeps calling that girl or vice-versa…. Imagine yourself at that place. Situations arise because we allow them to. No one can lead ideal life but we can always make an sincere effort to lead one.

Another note to be taken about: (strictly male to female and female to male contexts)

If your colleague calls you. Just check out whether if he calls others also. If he doesn't then find out why? No guy will call other girl if he is not interested in that girl. In a group there can be five females but it's not necessary that a guy calls all five. He will only call the one on whom he is interested.Similarly, a girl will not give missed call to everyone. If she gives then she must be really lonely. Stay away from them or you will be caught in their loving talk. Guys normally fall for girls because of their beauty or their talk. So if a guy colleague comes to you and proposes you then it's not his mistake completely, it's more of yours because you were the one who used to give him that space.

Also you become a topic of gossip among your fellow colleagues if they come to know that one of their colleague is calling you and not calling others. And there is nothing more dangerous than office gossip. It can cost you your job and just remember how easily you got this job.

So please keep your office and it's people at office and lead a normal happy life. For your good and for the good of your spouse. Send it to your colleagues, friends, relatives, parents and everyone and avoid incidents like the one mentioned at the beginning of this article. If you feel anyone is doing anything mentioned above then just go and tell him/her. You will be helping someone in their life.

Modern Panchtantra Story

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood

( the woodcutter and the axe )

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked,

" Is this your computer ?"

Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied,

" No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said

"No, not at all !!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her,

"Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a genius than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

SCJP study material!!!its worth

Love Letter in JAVA

The Donkey Factor

Some theories that your Teacher did not teach you!!!

Amazing Theorem ..... (Just for fun)

Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Equation 2Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

What does Marriage Means ??

Really beautiful

Ours was an arranged marriage. It was done the traditional way. Our Parents took care of everything. My only condition was that she should be ready to work. Our horoscopes and photos were exchanged. Everything Matched. I spoke to her over the phone. We talked about things two strangers would talk. She was a lecturer in Bangalore who felt Chemistry was more important than Hindi movies. There was no engagement. The date for marriage was fixed in 2 weeks as I could not get a vacation after that. Even the vacation time I got was just 10 days.

Everything was fixed. It was supposed to be very hectic for me. We got married and 2 days later we had to leave the country. She cried like there was no tomorrow when we left. She would not talk to me on the plane. I thought that was usual for an Indian girl. I thought she would get over it. Once home she would not talk to me. She sat in a corner staring at the TV. For the first couple of days I had to catch up on some work and did not take her mood seriously.

A week later I sat beside her and asked her, "What is wrong?"

"Why did you bring me here?"

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I want to go home"

"This is your home"

"No. I want to go home. Please buy me a ticket"

"Look, everybody feels homesick. I did when I came here the first time. It is normal. You will get over it. Sorry I have been busy with work.

We can go out this weekend. You will meet my friends and other people who will be very friendly. Come on be a good girl"

"I hate this place. I miss my family, my friends, my college. All the people I know are not here. I want to go home"

"Think for a minute. Try to reason it out yourself. What is your plan by the way? So you want to go back and never come back?"

"Yes"

"Are you crazy?"

"If you think this is crazy then I am."

"It is ok if you do not answer this question. Is there someone else?"

"No. I want to go home. I will call 911 if you do not send me""First cool down. Think about it. Think about our parents. It is less than a month that we got married and now you want to return home. You very well knew that you had to come here. What were you thinking? Even if you are returning home what happens to our marriage?"

"I am not blaming you. I take the blame. It is my mistake. I can't stay so far away from my family. If you are so interested come to India"

"I am family too! What you are asking is ridiculous."

The next day she would not change her mind. I called my folks. They said that it was my decision and they would stand by me. I booked her ticket and put it in her hand the next evening. She was to leave in 2 days.

Nothing would convince her to change her mind. She was crying like a kid. Then she left.

She had done nothing for me to miss but something inside me was telling me that I was at fault. I tried to shake it off but as time grew I started feeling more guilty. I called her. She made it clear that she did not find me despicable but she would not leave her city. Her parents apologized profusely but they were helpless too.

I have had crushes. None of them were serious. There was this girl in my high school tuition whose phone no I managed to find out. Then the prettiest girl in college whom everybody loved, who talked to me once. Then the girl from my city who was at my university in USA who made me feel at home when I visited her place. I had ignored them once I crossed their paths. But Anjali was my wife. I could not ignore her.

I decided to quit my job. I went home. No one back home knew I was returning. I wanted to surprise her. I dropped off my bags at my place and went to the college she was teaching. The gate keeper would not let me in. So I had to wait outside for the classes to get over.

She walked out alone, struggling to carry her bag, tired, with slow steps. She was walking towards the bus stop. I silently followed her and went behind her and whispered, "Do you mind if I carry your bag?"

She was startled and turned to face me. Her eyes lit up. I was not sure if I could hug her. I was smiling and she had a 100 questions written all over her face. "I want to spend a week with you in this city. Show me the things that you could not miss"

That one week went in a jiffy. She was treated a kid at home with all the comforts. That explained her behavior. Coffee was brought to her in the morning. Even her dress was laid out for her. She would have breakfast and leave. The bus journey was an hour. She would sit near the window with a book. Then once in the college she would teach her classes and come out tired in the evening. She would stand in the crowded bus carrying her bag which would look heavy. Then she would alight, go home, have a snack and would head out to a friend's place. Some times she'd stay home watching TV or listening to music. When her dad returned she would join him and they'd have dinner. Then her mom would tuck her in bed. Weekends were not much different. She would sleep late, wake up for breakfast and lie down talking on the phone. Then she would visit the temple in the evening and would have her singing lessons. Then she would eat out and would head home late.

That was her life. It was something every human being wanted - simple, content and happy. Of course to her I was a villain. I told her that I understood her. I wanted to know if it was ok if she stayed in the same city but away from her parents. Her only condition was that I should not stay at my parent's place to which I agreed. So we moved into a small apartment. She knew nothing. She had to be taught everything. She learnt. It was hard to make her understand that she had duties and she had a husband. Coffee had to be brought to her in the morning. She made the rules and broke them. She did not care for me. Sometimes she would not return home but go to her parents' place without informing me. I would have had to go bring her back.

Slowly she started realizing about married life. She would wake up before me, try to cook, agree for a movie, visit my friend's place, invite me to her college, let me dress her up, dance in front of me, teach me Chemistry, talk about her crushes, play cricket with me, make me cry for a change. She was growing mature day by day. One day she apologized for the whole thing. I brushed it aside. Finally I had her the way I wanted.

Today I am happy and content with my life. She is still there crying to get her things done. I keep reminding her how she had threatened to call the police. She laughs it away. Some times I wonder how life would have been if I had not returned. Then again some things are left as they are.That's how life is...

There are two ways of meeting difficulties:

”You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them"

Top 29 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US"........

Top 29 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".

29. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.
28. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
27. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
26. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
25. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
24. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
23.Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
22.Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
21.Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
20.Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
19.Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
18.Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
17.Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 40 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important:
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India , tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1.. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."